Lament of the Mind

I’m wondering tonight, how many opportunities to make true, lasting connections with people have I passed up? I keep so quiet in public, in the rare chance I get to be among people, simply because I don’t want to be seen as a creep or weirdo, or just another guy looking to hit on chicks to try and get in their pants. But what if, in all that, I’ve passed up some truly meaningful people, people that could make a real difference in my life?

I face this dilemma still, though not as straightforward. There are a few people I would love to reach out to and talk to, but I can’t for the life of me make myself do it. I’m too afraid of what they’ll think of me… after all, I’m a fucking mess, and I make that pretty obvious. But I’ve got a lot of good under this mess too, I’m sure of it. But I don’t want to make anyone have to dig through the piles of garbage to get to it… ugh.

See? I’m a total basketcase sometimes.