Lament of the Mind

NSFW stuff kinda? Throwing it behind a break.

I’m gonna be honest here. I spend a lot of time looking at pictures of women on the internet, in various states of dress and undress. I love looking at the female body, especially women who can rock it. It’s almost obsessive.

Something that I think sets me apart from most typical men on this aspect though is… it’s not totally sexual? I mean when I want it to be, I can see it that way. I won’t get started on the whole, naked women on the internet being objectified vs. being liberating debate. Fact of the matter is, the pictures exist, the internet exists, and… well, two, two, fish. But I actually legitimately appreciate a lot of the types of photography and art as… well, art. It almost entrances me how well the lighting works off a woman’s curves, how emotional her expressions can be.

And faces! Oh god, faces. I’m not afraid to admit that I do have a type, and my type is pretty much entirely determined by facial features. I can’t describe the exact type of face I love, even though I can picture examples and probably find them. Rounder, smoother type faces, kinda… cutesy girls, I guess? Ezri Dax from Star Trek: DS9 comes to mind. I can’t think of many other celebrity examples…but these types of faces are beautiful to me. And I have a thing for short hair. And wild hair colors. (It’s no secret that I have a thing for girls who “look like lesbians” stereotypically… I’ve fallen for more than a couple ACTUAL lesbians in my lifetime, go figure.)

I just get torn whenever I think about all this. I feel so bad for genuinely loving looking at cute girls, but… at the same time, 1) they’re having pictures of themselves posted to the internet, which 90% of the time means they WANT people to see them (I won’t go near the revenge-type sites, that shit’s wrong, consent is important okay folks?), and 2) it’s one of the few things I can still genuinely take enjoyment from and get new experiences from.

It’s all given me a real appreciation of women, their body types, and their looks, though. Rather than try and justify myself, I’ve taken the time to really look through and understand and take at least an artistic and humanistic appreciation of everything I’ve seen. It’s almost ironic when you consider the aforementioned debate I glossed over, but seeing women who are proud to show themselves on the internet has made me really want to fight for their rights to be equal, and do whatever the hell they want with their lives and their bodies…especially if that means more of them can show off. Pathetic and strange in a roundabout sense, I know, but my heart’s in the right place, even if it’s for selfishness.

I’ve been thinking about this shit for a long time though, and decided… fuck it, so few people read my Tumblr anyway that I might as well get it off my chest here.