Lament of the Mind

I feel like people have stopped caring about me at all.

Almost no one wants to talk to me anymore. Every time I reach out for help, no one helps. I can’t even complain about things anymore without drawing groans from everyone.

I’m sorry, my life is far, far from perfect. On top of all my usual stresses, I’m doing terrible in class, I just lost my job, and I’m basically having to feed and financially support my cousin, all alone.

Every day that passes, I’m receding deeper and deeper into my own darkness, into the terrible pits of my mind. I really desperately need someone to help me out, but of course that help has basically been refused at every turn. I can’t do this myself, and I need… more than just lecturing and counseling. I need someone to actually help me lift myself out of this pit. I need good things to happen. I need a stable fulfilling well-paying job, I need more good, close friends, and I need the goddamn world to stop beating me down at every turn.

I can’t fight these demons alone, world. I wish I could. I truly wish I could. I’m trying my best not to let the demons win… but I’m not sure I can.

I can’t be alone anymore.

I just can’t.