Lament of the Mind

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about my current state of life. It’s interesting, when you’ve got as much free time as I’ve had, you tend to get pretty introspective. You hear me complain a lot about how much I think things suck, but what you don’t hear is what I’ve been doing to try and make it better.

Walking around everywhere, especially as far as I have to walk now, has been hard, but it’s got its advantages. I’m starting to feel stronger, more energetic. I’ve been working out a bit. I can feel myself gaining more strength, more endurance, by the day. What’s interesting is that it’s also serving to sort of clear my head. I’m becoming more and more focused, and determined to get something done with this waste of a life I’ve got going.

Most of you know that I’ve not really done too much lately - I’m primarily just sitting around thinking. And boy, have I been thinking, at probably the most intense level of my life. There’s been a lot to sort out lately. I’m finally starting to get a grasp on what I’m gonna do with my future.

I’m starting to go through one of those major life transition periods again. The last time something like this happened was when I transferred high schools. I think I’ve finally torn down some of the last fundamental barriers I had remaining, one of the last things stopping me from becoming a completely new version of me.

I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I must only figure out how to reach it, now.