Lament of the Mind

Oddly specific things my D&D players are no longer allowed to do

grizzlyhills:

grizzlyhills:

1. Play in the sewers
2. Build a bridge out of birds
   
3. Buy 5200 thrushes, or any number of thrushes for that matter
4. Mention sea cats in any context, but especially a playable one
5. Waifu the same NPCs on subsequent playthroughs (The Don and Bryan Waifu Rule)
6. Make the DM ship even more goddamn ships involving the time traveling sad lesbian
   
7. Argue with the DM on how much damage a thrown frying pan can do
8. Debate with the DM about the merits of an ear trumpet or a tennis kit in combat
9. Buy ear trumpets or tennis kits to use them in combat
   
10. Look for genocidal, murderous spiders in castles, or anywhere else, really, unless they’re the small dragon cleric
    
11. Bring horses to space stations
12. Ask gods of immense power for horses
13. Be a local lord in areas where they don’t speak local languages
14. Be a local lord at all
15. Ask why humans are called “humans”
16. Name their character after another player but with two letters rearranged, be it by accident or not, especially if it’s at 3am when the DM checks new character sheets and doesn’t realize the ramifications of the name
    
17. Have +3 Natural AC for no adequately explored reason
    
18. Pester the DM to roll for divine intervention
19. Ask about the genitalia of fictional species
20. Make reference to Bad Dragon during games or in the group’s Skype chats
    

21. Buy any amount of centipedes exceeding 0.