Lament of the Mind

The Socially Anxious Mind

anxiousmandi:

- People are staring.

- People are laughing. They must be laughing at me.

- Am I giving not enough eye contact or am I giving too much?

- I kinda want to blend in with everyone but stand out too…I’m so confused.

- My mind is racing. I must calm down or I will have a panic attack.

- The restaurant is too crowded, I’m not going in. We have to go through the drive-thru.

- My phone is ringing. Should I answer or should I not? I know I should but I’m afraid I’ll stutter or won’t know what to say.

- I want more friends but I don’t know how to make friends. How do people around me so easily make friends?

- The store is very busy…forget shopping today.

- Midnight is the only time to go to a store without having a panic attack.

- I hate myself.

- Someone is watching me while I eat. I must look like a freak while eating. I’m just gonna lie and say I’m full, even though I’m not.

- Someone is riding in the car with me. I’d rather be driving alone. I feel like this person is judging my driving or thinks that I’m a bad driver.

- No one liked my status on facebook…what I said must be stupid. I should delete it.

- There’s a social event I was invited to. I must find an excuse to get out of going.

- I need to fake sick, so I don’t have to go anywhere today.

- I didn’t get the job. The manager must think I’m a complete idiot or know I have mental issues. I will never go back there.

- I can’t sleep, so I’m just gonna sit here and reevaluate every single thing I’ve done in life.

- I’m a loser. 

- I’m a freak.

- I’m worthless and everyone will see that one day.

- I’m already mentally exhausted and the day has just started.

- I hate this.

- I hate these thoughts. I want them to go away.

- The thoughts keep coming back.

- Negativity should be my middle name.

- Why am I so negative all the time?

- Why can’t I be more like him/her?

- Fuck life!

- A neighbor is outside. I’m not going to take the trash out until they leave because what if they start a conversation?

- I’m so afraid.