Lament of the Mind

Christmas Song Break-Downs

1. I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Clause: A tiny child thinks she's witnessing her mother cheating with a whimsical old man in a red jumpsuit, is glad her father isn't there to experience the betrayal.
2. Baby it's Cold Outside: Dude tries to convince his lady friend to stay the night under the guise of trying to protect her from bad weather, is really just trying to deck her halls with his boughs of holly. May have put something in her drink. Run, female vocalist. No duet is worth this.
3. Adam Sandler's Hanukkah Song: Lots of famous people are Jewish. O. J. Simpson isn't one of them. We're all pretty happy about this.
4. Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer: The prequel to Mean Girls.
5. Twelve Days of Christmas: Someone's significant other is showering them with a random assortment of impractical gifts and livestock. Nobody questions their taste for some reason.
6. Frosty the Snowman: Some anthropomorphic precipitation decides to Pied Piper the local children away from their homes before frolicking merrily towards death.
7. The Little Drummer Boy: He's just a poor boy from a poor family. Thankfully, the Baby Jesus is pretty chill with rockin' drum solos.
8. Silent Night: Nap time for the Lord and Saviour.